sometimes i miss the softness of cooincidence.
the way it felt to change.
to imagine all things new,
then,
for those imaginary, genuinely good things to come along easily.
and to dream of this year
to fret about it.

now it's here, and i worry things won't really be getting any better.

i should have gained some prosperity
some status
some stability over the last years. i haven't.

now, having lived more, i am just even more uncertain. and it scares me.